t@lk prëtty
what a curious life we have found here tonight
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Quote reblogged from itsonlythewindWe are all alone, born alone, die alone, and - in spite of True Romance magazines - we shall all someday look back on our lives and see that, in spite of our company, we were alone the whole way. I do not say lonely - at least, not all the time - but essentially, and finally, alone. This is what makes your self-respect so important, and I don’t see how you can respect yourself if you must look in the hearts and minds of others for your happiness.Hunter S. Thompson (via nikkotine)
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Lately I’ve been listening to a lot of Fleet Foxes, particularly their latest album, Helplessness Blues. I haven’t been able to get the first stanza of the title track out of my head.
I was raised up believing I was somehow unique
Like a snowflake distinct among snowflakes, unique in each way you can see
And now after some thinking, I’d say I’d rather be
A functioning cog in some great machinery serving something beyond meAt first I thought it was a bit sad. I mean, we do kind of have this idea banged into heads (at least in Western culture) that unique equals special. That to be different is good because being like everybody else is boring uncreative. But really- how useful is that advice? Am I really all that unique? Even if I am, what does it matter?
I think maybe I would prefer to be that water molecule that creates a huge wave. Because, let’s face it- by ourselves we are nothing. Literally. With no around there would be no way to confirm individual existence. But together, together we can do something great. And maybe that’s the message we should be pounding into little kids’ heads these days. Not that everyone’s different, but that there’s something that connects us all together. Under the skin and hair and religious and political ideology there’s the same human spirit in all of us.
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I’m looking through you, where did you go? I thought I knew you, what did I know.
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If I could summarize this academic year in two words I would say: shit show. And I mean that with the least amount of negative connotation possible. Actually, in this case I think UrbanDictionary does a fantastic job of defining the term:
A description of an event or situation which is characterized by an ridiculously inordinate amount of frenetic activity. Disorganization and chaos to an absurd degree. Often associated with extreme ineptitude/incompetence and or sudden and unexpected failure.
Just thinking of how rapidly my life has changed from September to now, how many emotional roller coaster loop-the-loops I’ve endured, and how many walls I’ve had to climb really makes my head spin. And I’ve experienced a fair number of fails for one lifetime. But tied in with all those things were the great achievements I’ve made, the wonderful people in my life I’ve learned to truly appreciate, and the realization that even the most fragile of hearts can grow strong.
Yet, I’ve spent enough time-my whole life up to this point perhaps-obsessing on the past. I appreciate the memories, both the fond and the painful. And the past will always serve as a measure for how far I’ve come. But now I have a new and exciting future unfurling in front of me, and I just don’t have the willpower to drag around these vestiges of who I used to be.
I’m not sure what suddenly inspired me to write this. Maybe it’s to reinforce what I’ve been mulling over the last few weeks. Or maybe it’s just to document this change in perspective. In any case, it’s here and it’s in the open and already I’m beginning to feel a little bit more free.
