If I could summarize this academic year in two words I would say: shit show. And I mean that with the least amount of negative connotation possible. Actually, in this case I think UrbanDictionary does a fantastic job of defining the term:
A description of an event or situation which is characterized by an ridiculously inordinate amount of frenetic activity. Disorganization and chaos to an absurd degree. Often associated with extreme ineptitude/incompetence and or sudden and unexpected failure.
Just thinking of how rapidly my life has changed from September to now, how many emotional roller coaster loop-the-loops I’ve endured, and how many walls I’ve had to climb really makes my head spin. And I’ve experienced a fair number of fails for one lifetime. But tied in with all those things were the great achievements I’ve made, the wonderful people in my life I’ve learned to truly appreciate, and the realization that even the most fragile of hearts can grow strong.
Yet, I’ve spent enough time-my whole life up to this point perhaps-obsessing on the past. I appreciate the memories, both the fond and the painful. And the past will always serve as a measure for how far I’ve come. But now I have a new and exciting future unfurling in front of me, and I just don’t have the willpower to drag around these vestiges of who I used to be.
I’m not sure what suddenly inspired me to write this. Maybe it’s to reinforce what I’ve been mulling over the last few weeks. Or maybe it’s just to document this change in perspective. In any case, it’s here and it’s in the open and already I’m beginning to feel a little bit more free.
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